I sighed heavily and laced up my running shoes. And then I got up and started moving.
I didn’t really want to, but I had just a hint of an inclination to go running, so I did.
My lack of conditioning humbled me. And so did the white-haired grandma passing me on my left with nary a glance in my direction.
I’m running again because my 13-year-old son and I are running a half-marathon. In August. In Asheville. Hills + training in the dead of summer = a need to increase my fitness.
So there I was, sweating my rear off, getting dusted by grandma and a bunch of Duke students. When this happens, it feels like I should be running faster because it seems like that’s what everyone else is doing. My ego was barking, “You’re not going to let grandma beat you?”
In truth, I probably could have run faster. But I’m just easing back into running after a long respite. A slower pace helps reduce injury risk. And I feel better when I don’t take it all the way to the red line.
I’m clearly not the first person to recognize this tension between what you should do and what you want to do. In running, the maxim is: your race, your pace.
You don’t know anyone else’s story. Heck, you don’t even know if they are running the same race as you. Yes, grandma was dusting me. But she may have just been doing some sprints at the end of her workout.
Our minds create competition where there may not be one. This can be positive at times. Many of us had that frenemy that pushed us to do great work in school or on the field. But this competition can also introduce undue pressure that simply isn’t necessary.
Whether in running, career, money, or anything else, we don’t know anyone else’s starting line or finish line. Heck, too often, we don’t even know our own starting and finishing lines.
In my coaching work, I start with helping my clients do just this. Codifying their personal and professional values and understanding their natural talent themes are where they started, influenced by their family of origin and their maturation over time. And then they create a compelling future vision, which is where they want to end up.
Life is complicated enough without comparing ourselves to others, especially when they are not even running the same race as you. Know your race, know your pace.
But do keep your eyes open for grandma. She’s faster than she looks.
Photo of centenarian runner Julia Hawkins by Sarah Netter in the Washington Post, not the grandma who dusted me on the trail.